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Hold the Phones, It's Alex Jones

Published Fri, 11 Jan 2013 10:00:12 -0600

Last updated Fri, 11 Jan 2013 12:32:33 -0600

Andy Luke writes for Bleeding Cool:

The surreal episode between Alex Jones and Piers Morgan that aired over gun rights and useage, saw the shock news sensationalist deliver a barrage of facts and psuedo-statistics. Piers Morgan got a few questions out in response. He asked Alex about the weapons used in the Sandy Hook School massacre and received an answer, following details about the fluoride in the water and the Gulf of Tonkin. The killings at the Aurora cinema screening? Alex told all about the weapons, not so much about the lives of those affected, and quickly moved on to talking the statistics of deaths by great white sharks, Morgan's bodyguards, and that I'm not his slave and I can nerve gas him all day and that's right he's coming for me. With serpent powers and my sacrificing of goats, I'm an NWO hellspawn. Scum.

Or something like that.

Over the last few weeks Bleeding Cool has run two pieces on the conspiracy theories arriving outside the Sandy Hook and Aurora massacres.

It's a sad fact that Morgan and Jones both indulge a breed of parasite reporting that is so creative it invents the news.

Conspiracy theorists provide an important function in de-constructing "accepted" accounts to allow us to get closer to the truth. Just as a good journalist will give us a story that affects us, and suggest access to respond to those. Anyone who knows Jones' pre-2006 work will know he's capable of good journalism, but his oft-spouted "Building 7", "Military industrialist complex" "honey bees are killing us" catchphrases doesn't cut it when he's off on the subject of guns.

I wonder if the criminals want to take his guns because he's criminalised them?

I'm shamelessly using this surge in Alex Jones traffic to give you another option outside the phoney Jones-Morgan paradigm. Last year, I put out Hold The Phones, It's Alex Jones! It's a sit-com-spiracy, making use of Alex's inane brand of comedy and soundbites minus the agony of wading through the incomprehensible. Digitally, the book has done well with over 10,000 free extended previews, but not a single PDF sale as there's been a global conspiracy or I messed up the purchase tech. So now that I've covered that up, you can make a new world order for this 44 page comic for 98c.

See Alex travel in time through American history, face vaccination and innoculation, resist the attempts of big media to hypnotise his kids and join him. See him advertise water filters and gold seeds, fight enemies foreign and domestic: including Alex's wife, their son Constitution, daughter Wrench, the family dog 1776, and Orwell the cat.

Hold The Phones features work by Geoffrey Wessel, Bisson, Sean Duffield and Benjamin Stone, as well as myself and co-creator, Professor Octagon.

You can read previews or buy a copy at my website.