I think we’ll count down from the tenth least grossing to the number one worst performer. Instead of just providing a list, I want to share the film’s trailers.
Let’s look at these things and see if we’d actually want to watch them.
10. Jason Becker: Not Dead Yet – $794 from 2 cinemas
Yes, if this was on BBC 4, I’d definitely watch it. On a slow week I’d get to it in cinemas too. Not because it looks like a great film, necessarily, but the story itself is worth attention.
9. The Decoy Bride – $759 from 1 cinema
The sort of thing you’d watch for the cast and… yeah, we’re only two films into this list and we’ve found one that I’ve actually seen. On DVD, admittedly. It wasn’t great but the stars do have some charm of their own.
8. Nature Calls – $646 from 2 cinemas
It has Patton Oswalt in it so I’m quite keen to see it. Even if he were to tell me, personally, not to, I’d still be intrigued to see what he got caught up in here. Rob Riggle can be funny as well, and director Todd Rohal made The Catechism Cataclysm so there’s curiosity value there too.
7. Citizen Gangster – $625 from 1 cinema
That trailer doesn’t seem to have a single original idea in it and it’s styled in a very familiar, if polished, fashion. Still, it doesn’t actually look bad at all. If writer director Nathan Morlando actually has something to say, this film could work well enough. I’m in.
6. Death of a Superhero – $607 from 1 cinema
We featured this film earlier in the year. I still haven’t had a chance to see it, here in the UK, but I’m hopeful that it will have some appeal, value or qualities – it’s a good cast at least.
5. Gottfried Helnwein and the Dreaming Child – $601 from 1 cinema
Yeah, this didn’t appeal at all. Seems too in love with its subject, and there’s no indication of there being any reason for us to care about this opera in particular. One night on Netflix, maybe.
4. Meeting Evil – $525 from 1 cinema
An unappealing trailer, aside from a number of the cast. Doesn’t seem particularly cinematic either – not much happens, for all that is said. I fear that the majority of this film is going to be people acting at one another.
3. Apartment 143 – $383 from 1 cinema
Another one I’ve actually seen. Trying to bring reason and logic to the Paranormal Activity-style story was welcome, the lumpy, expositional structure was not. There’s a few good scares and some interesting little “idea scenes” but the whole thing doesn’t gel and the pacing is way, way off.
2. Playback – $264 from 1 cinema
Seems like a Sinister knock-off, but it can’t be. Must be a case of parallel invention, similarities exaggerated by this trailer. Playback looks like it was pretty roughly executed but I’d give it a punt, sure.
1. The Ghastly Love of Johnny X – $117 from 1 cinema
Oh yes. I’m going to watch this one as soon as I can. There’s a little Forbidden Zone about this trailer, perhaps a bit of Plan 10 From Outer Space – yes, plan 10 – or even Chillorama, but those are all films I’m happy to have on my shelf. Seems criminal that less than a dozen people turned out to see this. Where was the Paul Williams fandom that week?