Ten Reasons You Know Tim Seeley Is Writing Witchblade

This weekend is Free Comic Book Day, and will include a Witchblade comic for free, featuring the first work of Hack/Slash creator Tim Seeley on the book. But how will you be able to tell?

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1) Chicago local Tim Seeley immediately moved Sara Pezzini from her native New York to Chicago.

2) The majority of the settings in Chicago are taco stands, hair removal spas and seedy park men’s rooms due to Seeley’s philosophy that he should “write what he knows.”

3) A steep increase in the number of leather clad punk biker witches appearing the book.

4) An even steeper increase in the number of grotesque, horror movie inspired monsters appearing in the book.

5) One of the female characters is heavy set, due to Seeley’s misunderstanding of feminism, which tells him that as long as “one of the chicks isn’t hot, people will get out of my ass.”

6) The introduction of a stage magician romantic interest for Sara Pezzini stemming from Seeley’s misunderstanding of what “cool” professions are.

7) Every issue reportedly had at least moment where, if Top Cow had let him, Seeley would have written in a Savage Dragon cameo.

8) Seeley attempted to sneak in references to Masters of the Universe including the lines “I mean, the Witchblade is pretty much just a Power Sword you wear” and “Jackie Estacado/Orko…any one else seeing the connection here?”

9) An homage to the Michael Turner drawn, famous “red latex dress” from Witchblade #1 in a black dress from his first issue.

10) The writer of Witchblade can now bench press me.