They’re Making A Caper Movie About The Theft Of Nicolas Cage’s Action Comics Number One

I’ve learned to lead with the bad news, so here it is: while Nicolas Cage is a character in this story, it doesn’t look like he’ll be playing himself.

Now, before you kill the messenger, let’s back up.

Back in 2000, Nicolas Cage’s copy of Action Comics number 1, the comic that featured the first appearance of Superman, was stolen. It took eleven years for it to surface again, when it sold at auction for a truly ridiculous amount of money and became the first comic to sell for over $2 million dollars.

As far as I can tell, the identity of the thief or thieves has gone undiscovered. As a result, the filmmakers are using a little license and… well, essentially, they’re doing Fanboys again. The Hollywood Reporter say that the film:

revolves around a group of nerds.

Jason Statham has apparently been linked to the film, though he’s also apparently not going to appear. It’s odd that THR didn’t jump to the same conclusion as me, saying:

It was not known who Statham would play; the actor already played the leader of a heist in The Bank Job but has yet to tackle the role of a comics fanboy.

Surely he was in the frame to play Cage? Can’t you see that?

I can. And it’s hilarious.

So there you go, we’ve come back around to another disappointment. No Cage as Cage, and no Statham as Cage. We might as well end on some more bad news.

The screenplay for the film is by Robert Ben Garant and Thomas Lennon, creators of Reno 911! and screenwriters on Balls of Fury, The Pacifier, the US do-over of Taxi and the Night at the Museum movies.

Perhaps the whole thing can be redeemed by the appearance of Rich Johnston as a fictional character. They should just glue a beard on Jason Mewes and make him do a Dick Van Dyke accent.

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