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Thirteen Moments From Today's DC Comics

Published Wed, 28 Dec 2011 08:00:20 -0600

Last updated Thu, 29 Dec 2011 03:07:51 -0600

Comics don't get to the UK until tomorrow this week. Thankfully, I do have someone on hand to give me the inside track.

1. This week, Voodoo brings us tentacle porn. And will give those offended by an overabundance of black shapeshifters something new to interpret.

2. Superman is again more of a prose novel with pictures, than sequential art storytelling.

3. The "bitch-slapping" of Madame Xanadu by John Constantine. Justice League Dark indeed.

4. Talking of which, Constantine meets Vampires in I, Vampire. How well do you think that will go down?

5. And Carter meets Zombies in Savage Hawkman

6. Legion Secret Origin has a new Kid on the block, even if he's not apparent to everyone.

7. Ronnie's Firestorm is still wearing guyliner.

8. Lady Blackhawk still isn't blonde.

9. The Dark Knight likes mint chocolate chip ice cream, Alfred prefers strawberry. The flavour tastes of Wonder Woman, Flash, Deathstroke, and Scarecrow are not known, though they do all appear.

10. Superboy vs Wonder Girl, Red Robin finally calls the team Teen Titans, and Kid Flash wears a Robin costume.

11. New Guardians has Ganthet saying Kyle will "never be a real Green Lantern again". Well, we all know, if Aaron of A Comic Shop is anything to go by, that Guy Gardner is the one true Green Lantern anyways.

12. The Flash isn't dead because he's "untouchable". Sensory neurons, femtoseconds and all that. Time to get a better stopwatch.

13. Aquaman gets a dog! Aquadog! Also look for an answer to the question "Who sank Atlantis?".

Bonus Marvel moment: Avengers: The Children's Crusade has Doom with a pretty face. And you can't have a children's crusade without dead children, right? It's the law…