Tomb Raider Reboot From The Scorsese People

Yes, it’s utterly disingenuous calling GK Films the Scorsese people when they’ve produced Rango and The Tourist and lord knows what else on top of The Departed and Hugo Cabret, but I did it anyway.

According to Deadline (or at least the press release they’ve posted in full), producer Graham King and company are prepping a new start to the Tomb Raider movie franchise with a fresh big-screen interpretation set for 2013.

In case you escaped the last two Tomb Raider films, here’s the set up: a buxom English heiress plays Indiana Jones on the global stage, rides on jet skis and those snow bound jet ski things, shoots a bit, swings on ropes a bit, and raids some caves, temples, and other sites of archaeological interest. Last time round she was played by Angelina Jolie, and it was one of the roles that cemented her bonafide Movie Star status.

The video game original has been rebooted too, for what it’s worth. Hard to see why anybody would really bother rebooting a video game franchise (Nintendo shake it up with every new Zelda, but none are reboots, per se), but I suppose the intention here was to announce how new, and young, and freshly pert, and not so bloody ludicrous the reinvented Lara Croft would be.

I’m sure we’re up for a year or so of Megan Fox vs. Jessica Alba rumours now. I’d much rather we were up for a year or so of Megan Fox vs. Jessica Alba games of blow football, or Jeopardy, or sledgehammer-fight-to-the-death. Anything but these interminable bloody casting rumours.